anxiously awaiting

You'd be keen to suspect that my world already revolves around the gravitational pull of my belly. And I think it's affecting me mentally. I really try to focus when I'm listening to someone or reading something. But after 20 seconds of that, I begin fantasizing about my baby. My nods and smiles make it look like I'm understanding the words you say, but I'm not. I don't care. I'm just thinking about my baby, which is more interesting. Wondering what he will look like, and how big he will be. Thinking about how I need to organize the closets. This must be very frustrating for everyone who has to deal with me. I assume that this is just Mother Nature messing with me. But are all mothers like this in the beginning? Does this magic/madness fade away? Will I ever be able to pay attention like a normal person again? The good thing about this numbing of the senses is that my main priorities have been reduced to sleeping, eating, and convincing Simon to cuddle with me. I think the baby and I will have common interests. What- you feel like eating? So do I! You want to be held? So do I! You can't sleep at night either? Besties.

I used to wonder why pregnant women always had a hand on their bellies, and now I do it too. I love to feel him squirming and hiccuping. It's fascinating to me, and keeps me fully entertained for hours. If I already love spending time with him now, I can't wait to play with him outside my belly.

I'm 34 weeks, which is somewhere in my 8th month. Baby is head down and I suspect that he may have dropped because I have to wee every 20 minutes and I feel like I can breathe again. Simon and I have started our birth classes, which are a lot of fun. He tries to make me laugh during the quiet parts of class, and I turn red trying not to. I'm going to try to have a water birth, and no that doesn't make me a hippie. It does mean that I won't be having drugs so we'll see how it goes. I'm obviously worried about that part. Simon's main concern right now is that my water will break in the middle of the night and ruin our tempurpedic mattress.

I miss
not waddling
wearing jeans
sleeping on my back
working out
energy
having just one chin
balance
serpentining through crowds
hot tubs
sleeping through the night
hugging Simon without bending forward
seeing my toes.

It's been a long time.