one year down, one billion to go

Sunday was our first ANNIVERSARY. So we spent the day together and got massages. Luckily no baby was born. We did a lot this year—moving to another country, traveling, having a baby and all. But it still felt like it went by so fast. I still feel like I'm on that wedding day high. I still want to be with Simon wherever he is, even if he's not doing anything exciting. For some reason I thought that feeling would wear off.

For example. Simon used to watch the Hills. I hated the Hills, but I wanted to be next to him on the couch, so I was torn. I could suffer through the show, but get to hold his hand— or I could find something else to do in another room. I tried to distract myself, but it's so difficult knowing that Simon's just a few metres away, and I could easily walk in there and sit by him. Needless to say, the couch won out and I eventually even became a fan of the show—once I got to know Spencer.*

I digress. Before I was married I had been told this strange idea that the first year of marriage was "so hard" or whatever. I had been around many conversations about how scary marriage is and how you can never really know someone, these days. I knew so many people afraid of commitment, and heard so many horror stories about failed marriages. This is what happens when you go to BYU and live with girls who obsessively talk about how they'll never get married because there are no more good men out there. Really? No good men?
I found one.

This year has been the best year of my life. All the worries of dating are gone, replaced with the constant security of knowing. I know that Simon will be there every day. I know that he loves me and wants to be with me. I know what direction I'm heading.

At the studio, people were always shocked at how young I was to be married (25). I'd tell them how great it was, and ask the point of waiting around once you've found the right person. Then they were shocked again to hear a positive voice on the subject. We need more of them. It makes a lot of sense to many people to just live with a partner forever, without fully committing. I think it makes them feel safe. But it's a great thing to give yourself to another person. Then they feel safe giving back, and you have to trust each other. There is nothing really worth holding onto at that point, and you can stop worrying about yourself.

If I had known it could be this sweet, I would have been pouncing at the prospect, instead of shying away. But then I may have appeared desperate and become a cougar in my spinster years. So maybe it's better this way. Simon and I had lessons to learn and people to meet before we were ready to encounter eachother. Everyone knows you have to get your wiggles out before you can settle down.

The "plunge" it turns out, is not really a plunge at all. I never sank. Simon would never let me. I've been going up, up, up.

What Simon has learned about me this year:
I do better when I get plenty of sleep.

What I've learned about Simon this year:
He is the least judgmental person I've ever met.
He is very particular about plastic wrap.

*Not a marriage to replicate.